Monday, July 23, 2012


Once, at the suggestion of @SAHDandproud, I didn’t bother ironing my whole shirt. I just did the front of it and kept my suit jacket on.

That was the most action my iron had seen in quite some time. Slovenliness thy name is Lewis.

I once worked with a woman who ironed EVERY item of clothing. Including socks. She also ironed her towels and tea towels. That’s weird isn’t it? Or is it normal?

Creases do not usually bother me. Why would I want to spend lots of time ironing things when they only get creased again as soon as I put them on? The time I would spend ironing can be redistributed, used for things I want to do. Like spouting inanities on Twitter, bemoaning the increased price of a Freddo bar or wondering what happened to white dog poo.

Creases in clothes I can live with. It’s the creases in Cam which I am finding concerning.

He’s a chubby little baby. His thighs are enormous. His face has a surplus of chin. At last count there were six of them, nestling under his jaw. I assume he still has the neck we used to see, but I can’t be certain he hasn’t sold it on eBay without telling us.

With chub comes creases. They’re like a free gift. Like the ones you used to get in cereal boxes. Actually, you still do get them, they’re just rubbish now.

“Free bag sealing clip in every pack”

Well, woo and hoo. I bet all the kids are swapping their bag sealing clips in the playgrounds of the nation, desperate to collect all six. That or surreptitiously throwing them in the bin, while simultaneously developing a deep seated loathing of Kelloggs.

Anyway, yes, free creases with your fat.

Trouble is, nestled within those creases is angry looking red skin, flakes of scrot and general fluffy miscellany. All things which hide away from us, quietly festering. Especially in this uncharacteristically warm weather we’re having now. I dread to think what manner of microbial beasties could be living out a life of sweaty luxury in the soft folds of my son’s blubber.

Google suggests we are not alone in having a creasy baby. Others describe similar situations for their own offspring. In bad cases the folds can apparently emit a smell similar to a strong cheese.



What, I ask of you, is the solution?

Removing the creases is not it: he is too small for even the tiniest of gym equipment, and I’m pretty sure ironing a baby is likely to get me a custodial sentence.

Treatment then. Last night we applied Sudocrem to the sore looking area. Will the magic cream help, or simply act as the agar jelly to The Creature’s Petri dish? If he smells of Gorgonzola this evening I will know the answer.

As ever, your suggestions are both welcome and appreciated, thanks for reading.


  1. Ahh...I can relate. our 7.5 month old is roughly the size of our 2.5 year old. Creases galore! Plus, the beginning of this post made me of my roommates in college use to iron for a half hour every morning. Argh! Great read, glad to have found your site!

    1. Thanks for reading, sounds like your 7.5 month old may be a giant!

  2. I have a photo of Isaac with 4 chins. It's disgusting. He's never been overweight, but he hadn't grown into his fat. He was sore, Sudocrem didn't work, E45 didn't work, in the end we were prescribed some medicated cream that is also given to, erm, the larger lady to help with under bosom chaffing.

    Two weeks later it cleared up and he cut his first two bottom teeth... Coincidence? I don't know! Keep the area as dry as possible and if possible keep his torso bare. Good luck! x

  3. Our little man was once a bit of a chubby baby, all that eating and sitting/lying around doing nothing..sounds like his dad :/

    Anyway point being he was chubby and had the creases that ultimately go with it. What I can say is as soon as he starts moving around they will quickley disappear. We are now left with a much leaner, stronger little man.

    He also has suffered a bit with eczema throughout his short life so we know a bit about this as well. Best bet if the patches do get worse is get some help and keep getting until you are happy its working.

    Its the best advice I can give because every child recovers differently. For us however the magic combo was hydrocortisone (a very mild one) together with epaderm which is a wonder ointment as far as we are concerned.

  4. My little emo irons the bits you can see bleeding lazy she is ;-)

  5. Being a blue collar guy, I've never ironed anything in my life. Half my stuff has old grease/oil stains on them anyway! But creases on kids. Yeah, both my girls were creasey when they were babies. My wife made sure to bathe them every night and get some soap in those folds. No creams or anythign weird. ANd unless you feed your kid twinkies when he's old enough to eat solid stuff, he'll probably grow out of it. No worries.

    By the way, "throwing them in the bin"... you mean the garbage? Crazy Euros....

  6. I actually don't rate sudocrem that highly for this. It's not bad for a light sore which is exposed to the air, but it kinda works as a barrier cream because it's so heavy and doesn't get absorbed in well. There is one thing I used with The Bot to treat the one bout of nappy rash he had: metanium. He never had it ever again. Now if it can prevent bottoms from becoming sore and nasty, surely it can work on other creases?

    I iron everything, including teatowels, except for underwear.

  7. Ah. I love their fat creases. Like someone has wrapped a hundred elastic bands round their arms and legs. Not throats though. ;-)
    We had fat babies. Sudocrem works as a barrier and isn't the best we found. We used oilatum to wash them and aqueous cream. Both can be got on prescription if you head to the quacks.