Friday, July 6, 2012

Disappointment

Did you read my post a while back about being shortlisted for an interview? Well, as some of you know (probably all too well, seeing as I chatted about it on Twitter quite a bit) I didn’t get the job.

My initial reaction was: Bah-fuckery-tits-and-tossy-bollocks. Arse.

So, I’m disappointed.

It was a job which I really wanted. A job I think I would have been really good at. A job which would have motivated me to push myself and do well.

But I didn’t get it.

It’s a right old fucker. You see, I’ve mentioned before the trouble I have being a real person. When I read @ageingmatron’s post the other day about procrastination it struck a chord with me. That’s the sort of person I am. Why put off ‘til tomorrow what you can put off ‘til even later?

But this time I acted like a real person. I researched the role carefully. I honed my application form so that it was a razor sharp tool for precision interview snagging. I read relevant internal strategy documents and memorised key points to be able to regurgitate in response to the interview panel. I produced a presentation showcasing my talents, abilities and vision for the role. I took deep breaths and delivered coherent and well argued responses to each of the questions I was asked. I bestowed each member of the panel with just the right amount of attention and eye contact. I wore my best shirt, my shiniest shoes, my sharpest (alright, only) suit and cufflinks. I was a blend of charm, levity and AWESOME which, I thought, it would be hard for any other candidate to match.

I even TIDIED MY BEARD.
It's not pubes. It's my face.

Perhaps I ought to have shaved the bastard thing off.

No.

The feedback from the panel when they informed me of my failure did not cite my facial hair as a limiting factor. This is good because, without the pay rise the new position would have provided, I remain unable to stomach the frankly outrageous cost of Gilette Mach 3 blades. I may be taking shears to my face before any future interviews.

What they actually said was “your interview was fantastic, we really couldn’t find fault with it. We had to think very carefully about whether to offer the job to you or [name of victor]” (he’s not actually called Victor).

So I don’t feel angry. Usually there’s a lingering air of having shot myself in the foot with these things. My inability to focus and act like a grown up leading to a half-arsed application or interview performance has been my downfall in the past.

Instead, I have that weak, pitiful, something and nothing feeling of disappointment. Sloshing around in the brainspace. Making me feel a little bit melancholy. A little bit grumpy. A smidge miffed. Nothing stronger. Nothing that made me want to rant and rage for more than a few minutes.

Oh well. Moving on. I had a few ciders last night and I’ll mention the disappointment no more.

What disappointments have you endured in recent times, and how do you like to deal with them?

20 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry you didn't get the job. I would deal with this as I have in the past with similar feedback, after the initial disappointment feeling proud of myself for doing everything good and feeling good that it was such a close call. I hope something else comes up for you very soon (and I'm glad you didn't lose the beard).

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    1. Thanks for the kind words. I'm pretty pleased with how it went, though I've realised today that I haven't quite shrugged it off yet! *grumpy*

      Think it has passed now, really.

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  2. Sorry, I meant to say doing everything I could, not everything good, which would prove my ignorance of the English language and provide a reason why people wouldn't give me a job...

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  3. Blimey, I reckon that's a really mature, grown up attitude. I was told I hadn't got a job the other day, but that they'd discussed me for an hour.... I'm still bitter and twisted - I don't want to know that I was really close! much easier to stomach that I'm a totally shonky candidate and have loads of work to do.... + the thing I'm told I have to work on is the fact that I've had time out to look after kids... bollocks... I'll just turn the clock back then. BTW - that soooo looks like pubes. Anyhow, I've written a bitter monologue on the blog - 'cos I'm nothing like as grown up as you ;-)

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    1. Well, that's a bullshit thing to be told to work on isn't it?! I'd be extremely stroppy in that instance, thanks for reading :-)

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  4. I think there is often a reason for disappointment, in this case a better opportunity is probably lurking just around the corner x

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    1. Thanks, that would certainly be nice :-)

      *buys twenty lottery tickets*

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  5. I really wanted to say yesterday "it is not meant to be, mate", but I stopped myself because that sort of thing doesn't help at the time, does it? But maybe today, after some ciders and a sleep you will see what I mean. I truly 100% believe that things happen for reasons. There are bigger and better fish for you to fry.
    When was I disappointed? I was really truly gutted today to not see my friends new baby. They live 3 hours drive away, so husb and I had arranged all day childcare so we could drive up north without our babies (6 hours in the car, not good for them, or our sanity), have lunch, have cuddles, come back down and be home about 8pm. BUT, our kids got sick, I got sick, husb got sick, weather was atrocious and we didn't get there (obviously! tiny baby and germy adults?! No WAY). But whilst gutted I couldn't help but think...maybe these were all little nudges telling us not to go to avoid something bigger? I don't know. Silly maybe.
    x

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    1. Thanks, I hope that it has happened for a reason. Who knows?

      Sounds like you weren't supposed to go and see your friend's baby either, hope you're all feeling better now :-)

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  6. Anoop Singh-BestJuly 7, 2012 at 4:28 AM

    I'm sorry you didn't get the job but perhaps it wasn't right for you. My husband recently went through the same thing and a few months later got a better job.
    Hope the same happens for you soon. As for how I deal with disappointments? Not very well I'm afraid. I spend a lot of time telling my children to focus on the positives, our mantra being "Oh well, never mind". It's when they quote it back to me that it really hits home.
    Something better often comes along. Good luck for next time x

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    1. Cheers, I'll keep my eye open for the next big thing :-)

      Oh well, never mind ;-)

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  7. It is a raw deal not getting the position, especially having put in so much effort. Given the feedback from the interview panel, they are clearly impressed by you so if another opportunity comes up you might find yourself head-hunted! I always say that interviews in themselves are good experience, the more you have the more improvements you can make, etc.

    As for disappointments... I'd say coming out of uni(for the second time) and finding out that I'm about as employable as a hooker with leprosy really has to be my biggest disappointment. No jobs in my profession thanks to NHS cuts unfortunately. Therefore I'm investing all my energy in being a stay at home mum instead. I've accepted it now as I know it is something I have no control over. Who knows what is around the corner though eh?

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    1. Sorry to hear that the NHS cuts are not helping you out, what sort of work are you looking for?

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    2. Podiatry. No work in my area & moving isn't an option as OH has a good job here. Used to apply for any job going (not just pod work) and was always turned down. Now on mat leave from the only job I could get (retail) after nearly a year of being unemployed. Such is life...

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  8. Sorry to hear about the job. Disappointment, in its fullest form, is a horrible emotion that hits you in your gut. I recently had to resign myself to not taking the job I really want and accepting a different one (which is better for the famly). I still feel sad about it.

    Hope the ciders helped ;)

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    1. Cheers, sorry to hear about your own disappointment :-( Juggling the old work life balance is a tricky one, we're already starting to think about that.

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  9. It was that MASSIVE grey hair in your pubey beard wot dunnit.

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    1. Fuck. I bloody knew I should have plucked that bad boy.

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  10. Oh bum. Sorry you didn't get the job Mr. Clearly they don't know what they're missing out on. And how do I deal with disappointment? I find chocolate helps. *Sends over industrial size bar*

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  11. Thats rubbish :-( so sorry you didnt get the job! Keep smiling mate hopefully the other guy will be so bad that they will fire him and call you!!! ;-) xx

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