Justin Bieber and the Apocalypse

I saw an absolutely fantastic tweet this morning. There's a picture of it somewhere in this post. I don't know where because I'm posting from my phone which makes the formatting pure guesswork.

It made me do an actual LOL. I laughed out loud at the idea of Justin Bieber as the saviour. The averter of the apocalypse. Then I laughed at the idea of the apocalypse. Then I laughed at Twitter for giving so many people a platform to spout 140 character snippets of hilarious bullshit.

I'm imagining Justin Bieber standing atop a blackened mountain, his shirt torn open, the sky behind him burning with the fury of a world ending.

His hair is defiant. Immaculate. It is our first clue that he WILL NOT STAND BY AND LET HIS BELIEBERS DOWN.

Apocalypse Now? Apocalypse NO.

Staring into the sulphurous sky The Bieber awaits the arrival of the four horsemen of the apocalypse, or whatever the Mayans (didn't) believe was going to carry out the annihilation.

At the foot of the mountain, practically orgasmic in their froth of fanaticism, stand the Beliebers. Thirty one million, seven hundred and two thousand and nine hundred and fifty five of them; screaming. Not in fear at their imminent doom, but in abundant ecstasy at the sight of their teenage deity.

The ground around them begins to crack, rent asunder by the cosmic forces working to reduce humanity to dust. The Beliebers stand strong. Arms linked, faces set in grim determination.

It is time. Bieber draws breath and prepares to unleash his world saving vocals. Mayans be damned.

He opens his mouth, sings the first word of Baby (baby? Probably) and the mountain collapses. The gaping earth swallows Justin and the hordes of Beliebers. The rest of the world is left unscathed.

Justin Bieber the saviour? Bitch please…

Interview

I found out today that I've been shortlisted for a job.

It's a job I really want. A job doing something which I thought I would do when I left university. It's taken me very nearly eight years to actually get here. 

That's largely my own fault. I'm not the most driven of people, I tend to wait and let things come to me, rather than seek them out.

I sometimes think that makes me really stupid. Really, really stupid. Because that's not how the world works is it? People don't just come and drop opportunities in your lap, you have to go and take them. Fight people off and prove you're the one with the hunger.

When people start saying things like that, I don't really understand. That's not how my brain's wired. I'm more of a "work to live" sort than "live to work".

Still, here it is, I've managed to be in the right place at the right time. It even looks like the fact I've started a blog and spent ages on Twitter might help me out, rather than condemning me as a monumental waster of time.

I'm worried. Obviously. Does anyone ever look forward to a job interview? Maybe. One of my ex-girlfriends. On the run up to exams she used to get excited. Animated. 

"I don't understand why anyone wouldn't like exams! They're like a really fun competition! I don't know why anyone doesn't like them!"

It probably helped that she was consistently excellent in those exams. Not something I can claim. Obviously, she's pretty successful now. 

If that's the answer: find exams fun, then I'm fucked.

Exams are not fun. 

Interviews are not fun.

But I'm unusually determined this time. I am going into that interview to put myself forward in the best possible way. I will be me, but I will be the best possible version of me. I will not just sound like I know what I'm talking about, I actually WILL know what I'm talking about. I will prove that if they don't take me on they are making a mistake.

Hopefully, once it's over, I won't feel the need to unleash 140 characters of unbridled regret and fury on Twitter.

Tomorrow on the blog: baby stuff.

When worlds collide

Evening.  I've just about reached the point of feeling human after a rather jolly night out last night.  Part one was a meeting of bloggytweety people in Brizzle for @MammasaurusBlog's twenty-first birthday.  A finer bunch of people I could not have hoped to meet.  I'll be honest, I'd been worrying about it a bit.  I'm not generally too good with meeting new people.  I needn't have worried, I got a warm welcome from @SAHDandproud, @jbmumofone and @motherventing who were there when I arrived, and everyone else turned up once I'd had a couple of beers and was feeling more comfortable.

There was plenty of chat.  Chat about blogs and blogging, about Twitter, about everyone's kids, about lots of other stuff that was nothing to do with the internet or parenting.  It was just a night out, like any other, with some really lovely people.  I also got to try cauliflower puree (which, for the record, tastes like thickened air).

Mammasaurus' Cupcakes

I've only been blogging for just over a month, so it was fantastic to meet some more established bloggers this early on.

Part two was a house warming party about a mile away, with people I've known for years.  Because I arrived late I was asked where I'd been.  Because I was a bit drunk I let people know I'd been meeting up with some people I'd met online.  Probably because they were drunk they found this hilarious.  Thankfully, after a bit of piss taking we moved on to other topics.  It got me thinking though; clearly it's not yet accepted as the norm to mix and match the online world and the offline one.

I hadn't told many people I know in the "real world" that I'd started a blog until last night.  My wife knew (hello!) and that was about it.  I'd told a few I was writing it, but not where to find it, and everyone else had no idea.

I like my little corner of the internet, and I like being able to write what I want here.  It pissed me off when people I like couldn't see that meeting up with people from the internet is NOT weird in the slightest.  So I've decided, I won't be telling my "real world" friends where to find my blog, in case they annoy me enough to want to say something about them.  There's an exception to that of course, because I'd like to think I can now count the strangers I met last night to celebrate a birthday as real world friends as well as online ones, which has to be the best of both worlds.

Huge thanks to everyone who was out last night, it was a true pleasure to meet you all, hope to do it again soon!