Friday, April 13, 2012

Zombie Apocalypse

I don't want to alarm anyone, but I've experienced a moment of clarity.  Sometime in the middle of the night, with the screams of Baby Babberblog as the backing track to my thought process.

Zombies.  I know where they're going to come from.  I have unravelled how the apocalypse will befall us.  Revitalised dead people?  No.  Carriers of some mysterious disease, passed on through germ ridden bites?  Again, no.

Really, really tired people who've got young children?  Yes.  As I shambled around the downstairs of my house last night, alternating between bouncing on the Swiss ball (Godsend! Thank you Switzerland!) and singing Soft Kitty (that moment when you realise the only lullaby you know is from a TV programme? Upsetting.) to the beautiful creature I held in my arms, I could sense a change.

I felt fuzzy around the edges.  My brain felt as if parts of it were falling away, like the end of a biscuit when you've left it in your tea too long.  Or a simile which you couldn't really make work because you were a bit tired.

As I wandered around, inconsolable ball of cute held tight to my chest, I could imagine how I might end up walking out the door and finding all the other parents, drawn together by their shared plight.  We would then rampage (slowly) down the street, attacking anyone who looked like they may have had more than a few hours sleep.  Maybe we would feast on their brains, to get at the juicy sleep that must surely lie within them.  Almost definitely we'd get covered in mud and assorted other muck, our sleep deprived brains would make staying upright a near impossible task.

Yes.  Definitely.  This was it.  Tonight was the night.  Zombies were coming and I would lead the charge.

Luckily, before my wobbly brain went any further wrong, Mrs L woke from her slumber and rescued me.  We had a loosely sensible adult conversation, without any rhyming couplets, we co-operated to get the little one fed and changed, then settled into a blissful sleep.  Then I went to bed.  At seven in the morning.

Zombie apocalypse averted for one more night.


  1. Brrrraaaaaiiiinnnnnsss

    PS Soft Kitty is a favourite in our houshold too.

  2. Oh yes its amazing how quickly you adjust to coping on broken sleep, then as you walk into work you give a knowing nod to other weary looking parents. But all it takes is a brief second of magic with your little one to forget it all.

  3. I've just read this out to my husband, through chuckles, and we've both sniggered and laughed at this. Because it's so true. And it's not until you become a parent that you understand how tired a person can be.

    In our staffroom the other day, a just-starting second trimester teacher declared she was tired. I sat quietly next to another female teacher, and we both quietly sniggered. My neighbour declared that the pregnant teacher didn't know what tired was, pregnant teacher looked at us mildly affronted for a second before she saw the bags under my eyes. Until the baby arrives, she won't get it.

  4. I'm laughing at the lullabye thing! Rhyme Time at Bristol Central Library will sort you out. Seriously though, you won't always be this tired. Hang in there.

  5. Soft Kitty is the go-to lullaby in our house too - love The Big Bang Theory. 18 months on and we're still zombified. Hope you fare better.