Thursday, June 6, 2013

Tidy

What’s the first thing you do when your child goes to sleep?

Pour a glass of wine? Slump in front of the TV? Breathe an exaggerated sigh of relief (because even though you love them, they’re exhausting)?

In my house it isn’t any of those things. It’s tidying up the accumulated mess they’ve made since the last time they were asleep. All the time Cam spends awake he is deconstructing the world around him, systematically unpacking EVERY SINGLE TOY in his possession and scattering it about the place.

Here’s a time lapse of me sorting them back into their proper place once he’s settled for a snooze:



I did it in time lapse because filming it properly would have been a four minute long waste of your time. This way I’ve only wasted twenty seconds. You’re welcome.

What I’m starting to wonder (after just a year or so of routinely stooping to the ground for four minutes at a time, several times a day) is whether this whole tidying lark is utterly, utterly pointless. Obviously, objectively, it is. There is no sense in putting away a collection of things which will IMMEDIATELY be taken out and strewn across our living room again once Cam wakes up. But is there anything in it for him? Mrs L reckons it’s a good thing to do, because it means he gets to rediscover all his toys every time. But Mrs L likes to keep a tidy house, so that may just be a convenient excuse.

I, on the other hand, have never been a big fan of tidying. Or cleaning. It is all so quickly undone. Does dusting actually achieve anything? Aren’t you just moving the dust from one place to another, so that the new place needs dusting? Or, if you capture the dust in some cunning receptacle, you’re just leaving space for NEW DUST to accumulate. I don’t really know what dust is. I suspect I don’t want to know. Bits of skin that have parted company with the body? The broken down remnants of pizzas long since eaten? The cough inducing ephemera of daily life I suppose. Dust. Pah.

I’ll carry on with the pointless tidy, of course, until the glorious day I can make Cam do it himself. In the meantime, I might just make sure I have a glass of wine first.


Does everyone do The Tidy? Or have I fallen into some weird tidy trap? What’s the first thing you do when your little people head to bed?

10 comments:

  1. I'm with you; TIDY! And I have to do it straight awayc because once I sit down there is no hope at getting going again. I tidy the toys, clear up the kitchen and finish off packed lunches for the next day if needed. Then tea and telly!

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  2. Tidying is something we do together. There are so many of us that is realistically the only way we'll get it done.
    What do I do when they go to bed. Sit down and check email, catch up twitter and chill. Allow myself time to become Edd again rather than 'dad.' If I don't get that time I'm not relaxed for the rest of the night.

    Great blog as always dude :-)

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  3. Tidying is something we do together. There are so many of us that is realistically the only way we'll get it done.
    What do I do when they go to bed. Sit down and check email, catch up twitter and chill. Allow myself time to become Edd again rather than 'dad.' If I don't get that time I'm not relaxed for the rest of the night.

    Great blog as always dude :-)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Tidying is something we do together. There are so many of us that is realistically the only way we'll get it done.
    What do I do when they go to bed. Sit down and check email, catch up twitter and chill. Allow myself time to become Edd again rather than 'dad.' If I don't get that time I'm not relaxed for the rest of the night.

    Great blog as always dude :-)

    ReplyDelete
  5. I do the tidy, occasionally, through gritted teeth, sighing and with a general air of grump. 8 years in it has ground me down to the 'why the * do I bother?' stage as lego, sparkly things, polly pocket shoes and general 'stuff' take over. The Cheetah Keeper's father likes a tidy house too - the 'tidy' is permanent flashpoint... and once the (not so) small ones are in bed it's cook us dinner, sit down and grab the laptop!

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  6. Yep, we're the same kids in bed then we tidy and also sweep the floors ready to be mopped. TBH me and wifey both like a tidy house anyway but I think it also helps them choose different toys each day etc.
    Also Matilda does now help tidy before she goes to bed :)

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  7. Yep, often open a bottle of wine, but I also agree with v83tigger... if I sit down, nothing will then get done!

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  8. We used to always tidy the toys away neatly into Leelah's corner once she was in bed but now we are making an effort to do it with her before she goes to bed so that she understands that she will start tidying up one day rather than Mummy and Daddy always clearing up her trail of destruction. Not sure how well this is sinking in but she has started to put some things away and clearly enjoys the delight I take in it.

    I hate cleaning and tidying, there are always better things to do but it is so much easier to relax in the evening when you aren't breaking your ankle on cars or sitting on the sofa and getting a jumbo crayon up your arse.

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  9. I don't ,mind tidying up the toys. What I do object to is tidying my son's room before bed only to discover when I check on him a few hours later that its messier than before I started. At least when they are playing there seems to be a point to the mess. He just empties a few boxes and goes to sleep

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  10. Tidying never gets easier the older they get

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