Thursday, April 19, 2012

Drop

No.  I haven't dropped the baby.

But since we've had the baby, I've pretty much dropped everything else I lay my hands on.  Seriously.  

Today, I have dropped: my phone (I was surprised to find it still works), my keys, a VERY sharp knife millimetres from my foot, a box of teabags and then lots of individual teabags while trying to pick them up to put back in the box.

I'm usually not a complete butterfingers, although I will freely admit that I couldn't reliably catch a tennis ball until I was about to attend secondary school.  Catching's different though, you don't choose when the thing enters your hands.  Under normal circumstances my dexterity does extend to hold things.

But not now.  I am the newly crowned King of Letting Go.  Lord of Lost Grip.

Has having a baby meant that ALL of my fingers' reserves of grip are being used up on The Creature?  I don't walk around with him in some vice grip, knuckles whitened at the effort of holding his increasingly squirmy little body.  Of course, I don't want to drop him (although, after reading @TomBriggs79's post about his paternity leave, I have wanted to check his Moro Reflex, which would require dropping him) but I really didn't think I was trying THAT hard not to.

I really don't know why I'm doing such a good job of losing my grip just now.  But I do know it has brought into sharp focus exactly how scared I am of doing anything to hurt this little tiny person who lives in my house now.

As I type, he's lying on my lap (refusing to acknowledge the existence of night time, looking all cute and squishy, aaaaawwwwwww!) and I'm terrified. Mrs L is in bed, tired from a day of looking exactly like she knows what she's doing, handling the baby with confidence and skill, while I spend every moment with him in my arms wondering when my newfound penchant for dropping things will extend to letting him fall.

Terrifying, parenting.

10 comments:

  1. Nah. Newborns are like thos little monkeys peddler men used to trot about. They have awesome grip.
    Ps) in all seriousness. I love this blog x

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    1. Brilliant, I do think of him like a tiny monkey :-) Thanks for your lovely comment, glad to hear you like it!

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  2. I'm sure it won't help you feel any less anxious but babies are actually very resilient little critters. All that soft squishiness makes it hard to actually break them. My three month old managed to push herself off my bed several weeks ago. I'm still not sure how she did it. Other than several moments of pitiful wailing she was fine.

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    1. They do look like they ought to bounce, I'd still rather not find out though! ;-)

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  3. The dropping is sheer exhaustion. Your body is rerouting its ability to focus on the trivial things like keeping hold of something because it's trying to stay awake and function on a basic level. Your general concentration is probably shot because of it. I know I go on about the tiredness, but it's important to get some sleep.

    And, you won't drop him.

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    1. Thanks, as you know we just had a great night of sleep so hopefully won't be throwing anything to the floor today :-)

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  4. I'm happy to have found your blog it has added a sense of humor to all I have been experiencing with my little one.

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    1. That's a really lovely comment, I'm glad you're enjoying it. I'm loving writing it too :-)

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  5. I tripped, fell over a dog, and smacked baby D's head onto the floor. 12 hours in A&E and then on ward for observation. hysteria (her and me) questions (from medical staff - terrifying) and finally home again. 12 years on she seems fine :-)

    @tattooed_mummy - too lazy to log in

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  6. welcome to the world of sleep deprivation, it sucks but your going to love it!!

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